What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our attention to the "here and now", rather than thinking about the past or the future, without judging the thoughts and emotions that come up. And they will come up!

Mindfulness is not about being calm, with no thoughts, only serenity and peace.

It is about the practice of bringing our attention back from those thoughts about the past and the future, over and over.

I have had a meditation practice for almost 30 years, and some days, I get to practice bringing my attention back from my emotions and thoughts on every single breath I take. It's not about being "good at mindfulness". It's about the practice.

Why Practice Mindfulness?

Mindfulness allows us to approach our thoughts and emotions from a bit of a distance, with less judgment, rather than being caught up in them and getting overwhelmed.

I tell my clients that mindfulness is kind of like lifting weights. We do it as practice, not specifically to feel better in the moment. There's not an immediate goal that we reach when we lift weights - we don't finish a set and say, that didn't work, I don't feel any stronger than I did 10 minutes ago. We do it over and over so we are strong in the moment of our lives when we need those muscles, whether it is lifting the groceries out of our car or running a race or helping a friend move house.

We might not feel a whole lot better or calmer right after we meditate (we might, though!), but a consistent practice can help us cope more usefully with our strong emotions and racing thoughts when they show up randomly in our life.

Mindfulness in Therapy

There are many modalities used in therapy that have mindfulness as a foundation, including Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). I use interventions from some of these modalities, including mindfulness.

We can talk about how therapy might look with me in a free, no-obligation consultation that you can book by clicking here

Mindfulness is also one of the components of self-compassion, along with common humanity and self-kindness. Self-compassion is one of the most effective and durable changes we can make to support our mental health, even moreso that self-esteem or confidence. Self-compassion allows us to embrace ourselves even in difficult times that test our confidence and self-esteem.

Maybe your therapist has recommended it in the past, but you couldn't get into it. I have some ideas for you!

Different Types of Mindfulness Practice

Meditation

If traditional sitting meditation in a quiet place sounds good to you, go for it. There are so many resources online for this, but one of my favourites can be found on the site for the Dartmouth Student Wellness Center.

These guided meditations will take you through the process of breathing and relaxing, with reminders to bring your attention back to the present. Remember that it is your practice - you don't have to do everything in the guided meditation, you can wiggle around and get comfortable, and you can stop whenever you want.

Walking

Walking mindfully can take many different forms. You can pay attention to each time your foot hits the ground, or you can count the footsteps between light poles – it’s ok if you lose count, it’s the practice that matters, not the accuracy.

You can choose a colour and stay on the lookout for anything you see that matches, or you can, like one of my clients, pretend you’re a dog on a walk and check out what’s around corners, under bushes, or down that little trail you’ve walked past a million times. The important thing is to stay in the moment, and if you start thinking, just stop and bring your attention back to whatever you’ve chosen as your focus.

Writing

If you like to write by hand, you can try the mindfulness exercise of writing with your non-dominant hand. You’ll have to concentrate a bit harder on forming the letters, which will keep you in the moment. It doesn’t matter what you write, so just copy something or write out something you know by heart.

How Do I Get Better at Mindfulness?

That was a trick question! There is no way to “get better” at mindfulness. Just choosing to do it is success. Some days it might be easier to stay in the moment than on other days, but that’s not a failure. That’s just a different day.

But I know it can be difficult to give ourselves grace in how we’re practicing, especially when we’re just starting out. Here’s a comparison for you, if you ever feel like they are “bad at mindfulness”.

We can think of mindfulness practice in the same way we look at golf. The whole point of golf is to get a hole in one, but we would not expect to golfing for the first time and get a hole in one on the first day. Some people golf for many years and never get a hole in one. And even in the absence of ever getting a hole in one, there are benefits of golf that can improve our lives, like being outdoors, playing with friends, or physical activity.  

You might not enjoy it every single time you try it. That’s okay too! Give yourself permission to practice unimpressively, or even to stop after a few minutes. It all counts. Just doing it is success.

Go ahead and give mindfulness a try!